Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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