I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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