i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
