you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Found your dick twin last night
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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