EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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