dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Randomize
