I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
