hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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