Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
