What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Randomize
