my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
