My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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