Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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