Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I need moral support for this bender
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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