he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
