i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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