Can i not drive my cunt home
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
