Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
