Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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