Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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