Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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