I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
