Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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