I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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