he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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