In the future we'll all be gay
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
