I just pynch a tree in the face
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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