the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
