just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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