You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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