Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize