Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
