Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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