your room smells of hookers.
And success
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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