I'm drive I can fine osifer
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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