we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
