Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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