if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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