This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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