You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
