not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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