I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
