I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
