Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
