She's JV to your varsity
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
