just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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