My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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