I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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