I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
