her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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