Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
