I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
