she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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