I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
