dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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